ATL to LA
My hesitation to write this is large and unnerving, but those who care to read, I hope you can follow along.
(I don't exist for the easy moments, but I do exist to overcome, through Christ, whatever is happening.)
There's so much I don't understand about this season that I am in.
I am in, what seems to be, the most random place, with random people, with randomness abounding.
So let's just do some thoughtful divulging...
Over a month ago I resigned from my job in Atlanta, Georgia at the Dream Center Church. I loved my job, and although it was not something I wanted to do, I was faced with a difficult decision, harsh words, busted relationships, and a God who is in it for the long haul.
I left in a whirlwind with a wind that I hadn't desired to even exist. My frailties were under severe pressure as I made the nine-hour drive back to Louisiana, suddenly and swiftly.
I never thought that I would be back in Louisiana to live. For the first 2 years of my life in Atlanta, I missed home extremely. I cried often about not being home and experiencing life in LA. But as I began my job in June of 2017, I began to feel more connected with ATL than before. I often thought about never leaving ATL simply because my job was what I felt wanted to do forever. I LOVED IT. The amount of creativity that I was able to express, the freedom that I had to maneuver, the opportunities to serve, were all so good.
I mean, I really felt like I was where I needed to be and my life was fulfilled in part.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Obviously God had other plans.
I moved back to Shreveport and knew of an awesome church, Christ Church for the win /,,/, but this church isn't located in my hometown.
Hometown = Shreveport; Christ Church = Ruston
As I was driving one hour and 15 from Shreveport to Ruston for service one Sunday morning, I was mentioning to God the fact that I needed somewhere to live if I was supposed to be a part of this ministry. Driving twice a week this far with no job is a little much...
I walked into church and had just enough time to go to the bathroom when I met an amazing gal who later said, "If you need somewhere to stay, just let me know!"
From that day, I have been living about half a week in Ruston and half a week in Shreveport with my family.
It's been a crazy experience. Every day, it feels like I encounter someone that God specifically designed for me to meet.
One of the hardest parts has been not having a job. Going from working 24/7 and receiving a paycheck to not having a job and no financial income has been WEIRD. It's been a process to walk through. In this time, the Lord has been so fulfilling. I don't understand why I feel so complete in Jesus even without a job, but man, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
I've also had thoughts about where I am as being an accident and that I kind of just ended up in Ruston because where I was didn't work out... that God didn't know what else to do with me.
Boy, have I been wrong about that.
God didn't place me in Ruston because I wasn't good enough in Atlanta, not aware enough to be in ministry, not wise enough to lead... Heaven no. He specifically placed me in Ruston + Shreveport, Louisiana. God has always been so sure of the purpose of my life. I was 100% known by God two months ago, a year ago, and 23 years ago when I was still in the womb.
About 2 years ago, I prayed that I would be able to spend summer of 2017 with the ministry of Christ Church... and no, it didn't work out that I would be there then. But the mind-blowing thing is, that now I am here. I am spending the summer of 2018 involved in this ministry, in a different way than I thought, yes, but in the way when the timing was right. And God knew that all along.
I can't explain Atlanta right now. I can't comprehend it all except that maybe what I was a part of was needed for someone else's healing. Maybe I became too closed-minded about my life's purpose. It's unfortunate that I had to leave something so great, but isn't it our God who brings us from glory to glory?
And doesn't He above all else know what glory looks like in all of it's splendor?
I contemplate how to fully explain all that has happened. More than anything I know that if there comes a day, God-willing, where I am pressed by the Spirit to fully express my previous challenges, I will be ready. I know that my life has been set on this path for healing, for growth, and for purpose.
I can't afford to choose anything less.
From Louisiana,
Your girl, J.